I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The air taste purple.
Randomize
