Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
