You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
