god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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