Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
