I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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