I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
