Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
