I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
