i just wanna soil my oats bro
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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