I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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