last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
