You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
