hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
