is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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