Apparently you make a good broom.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
