It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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