had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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