I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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