College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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