Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize