You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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