Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
