I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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