I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
