Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You're like the curious george of whores
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
