Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
