so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
