Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
