i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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