btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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