They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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