My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
