there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
