so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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