dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
