phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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