actually, I'm a sock model
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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