For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
