so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
