She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
