new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize