I need help removing her.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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