Dual....:-)
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
