you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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