Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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