dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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