I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
