So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dude i'm inner monologue high
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i think i have herpe
just one?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
