Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
