I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
