Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
