were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
