8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
