Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I need to stop coming to work sober
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
