are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
