Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
why is half of my head shaved?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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