I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
