Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize