Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
