His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
