My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize