Are we in a gay sports bar?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize