Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
